Parent - Child Dynamics
Get Along with Kids
In the past, to be honest, we were quite strict as parents, often setting high expectations for the kids. I still remember when Nick was preparing for the RCM Level 5 piano exam at just seven years old, he practiced almost over two hours each day. If he made mistakes, we would sometimes lose patience.
With tics being identified, after reading books and research articles, we decided to adjust our communication style. We realized our kids were already putting in their best efforts, so we shifted our focus to:
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Offering more encouragement and praise: Children with tics are often bright but sensitive. Rather than criticism or punishment, they need more encouragement, which helps build their confidence and courage.
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Spending more family time together: Kids with tics need more companionship. We started dedicating time to family activities like board games, family meetings, and even weekly sleepovers. We began sleeping in the same room, creating silly stories and playing shadow games in the dark. These moments opened up a safe space for them to share their secrets with us.
Learning that Nick had tics was an challenging experience for us. I believe many parents reading this can relate to the emotions we felt. Hearing the sounds and witnessing the movements was truly heartbreaking. However, as we made changes, we began to view the tics as Nick’s way of encouraging us to improving our parenting approach. These adjustments helped him feel safer and more supported, allowing him to open up and build a stronger connection with us.
Slow Down Life
Before the age of eight, Nick was involved in a wide range of after-school activities, including piano, swimming, soccer, tennis, math classes, writing workshops, Chinese and etc.. His schedule was jam-packed, leaving him constantly busy with learning and competitions. At the time, we thought we were helping him by exploring diverse skills and experiences. However, when we learned that he had tics, we started questioning whether we had put too much pressure on him.
In our reflection, we wondered if the intense pace caused the symptoms. Therefore, as a first step, we cancelled all of Nick's extracurricular activities for a period of time, giving him a chance to rest and recover without any external demands.
Over time, we slowly reintroduced some of his favorite activities, carefully observing his reactions. We noticed that under certain competitive environments, such as tennis matches, his symptoms would be significantly worse, making us realize that the stress from such events was too much for him to handle.
We then shifted our approach to prioritize balance, focusing on activities that were both enjoyable and relaxing for him. Instead of competitive or high-pressure environments, we encouraged him to pursue interests like creative writing or soccer trainings, which allowed him to express himself without added stress. These activities became not only a source of joy for him but also a way for him to build confidence.
This journey taught us a lesson: a child’s emotional well-being is always the top priority. While extracurricular activities can be valuable, they should never come at the expense of a child’s mental or physical health. For us, finding that balance was key—not just in managing Nick's tics but in ensuring he could grow up in a supportive and nurturing environment.